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The Docks In The Shadows-Noah/Fancy   
01:32am 26/07/2005
 
mood: depressed
Noah left his house and went to the docks.He looked at the water and sighed enjoying the silence.He wiped his eyes from crying.So much for being strong and confident.


He was falling apart at the seams.He kept his jacket over him hiding any form of scars on his arms that he done just the day before.His life was falling apart and nothing could make it better.He saw Fancy and a few other people and stood by himself in the distance keeping away from them.

He had to get it together he would.He was, in no mood to talk with anyone.He liked being alone.Solitude in his pain.He let, out a sigh and kept watching the water and the people as well.

"Calm down Noah"Noah said to himself

He glaired over at Fancy and hated her with a passion.Hate was a strong word.Just whereever she was trouble followed and Noah was in no mood for that.He would be okay in due time.He checked his cell phone for word from dad nothing.He kept his hurt hidden for now.
 
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Noah's Journal Entry 4   
03:10pm 22/07/2005
 
mood: crushed

::Noah opened his LJ and started to Type::

 

I don't know how my life is so messed up.Jessica is falling apart and me I'm a drunk and a cutter.I hate myself so much.I just feel better in knowing who I can be.I need to stop worrying about my life.

 

I know that my heart is hurting but I will be strong.I hope to be.I need to be strong.I must run now.

 

Noah

 
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Love's Sucide Noah's Room Hearing Jessica,Kay and Sam talking   
03:21pm 14/07/2005
 
mood: angry
Noah opened, his eyes from resting.He sat up on the bed and put his hands over his eyes so that he could see better and things weren't so foggie.He heard, people in the house yelling.He wasn't, going to deal with this.He had, other things to worry about.

He got, up from the bed and ran a hand over his arm which was all cut up.He sighed, to himself not sure why he had to have this experience.He vowed, to himself to keep this a secret and he would do so.He turned, off the radio and went and took out his pretty new friend called MR letter opener.He ran, his hand over it and smiled.

Pretty thing it was.He let, out a sigh and took it to his arm and kept cutting it.He made, an X on his left arm.Who cared, about him?No one did he belived that more than ever.He layed, down enjoying the rush of this feeling.It was, something Noah did when he was younger.So why stop now?

He took, off his shirt and put it under the bed.If his, father saw the blood on his shirt he would put him some where.He was, too angry to care anymore.He had, to just leave the house.But he couldn't, do that.He put, on a fresh shirt and jeans.He had, to hid his clothing from them.

Hide the truth away with the pain.He put, on a black tee shirt, and jeans.Laying on the bed and thinking again.His life, sucked and he was to blame for it.Nothing mattered, to him anymore and he felt bad but the cutting made him smile that would be his escape.Self Mutlation how fun indeed.It was, his lover, his friend and more.

"I wonder, what they are talking about.Who cares, no one needs you anyway Noah"He said to himself.

He put, the radio off for the time and just layed on the bed stairing at the celling again.Nothing would help just his own pain.Love's sucide or a close faxsmile of.
 
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My Dark Secret Noah In His Room After The Meeting   
07:01pm 13/07/2005
 
mood: depressed
Noah Left the living room and ran , up to his room and looked at the small silver letter opener he found on the table.His blue eyes, were in rapured by it's beauty.He ran, his left hand over the blade making a cut into it.He smiled, to himself content with the idea of a escape and a away out of his horrible life.

He put, his jacket onto the bed and took the blade onto his left arm and made a small cut into it.One cut, lead to two and so forth.No one, cared about what he was feeling at this moment.It was, his time to vent his time to feel something more than dark pain.

He watched, the blood well up on his left arm as he sat on the bed rocking back and forth to the beat of the cutting.It was, amazing how fast you can feel better from your own sorrow.He ran, his hand over the cuts on his arm which went from one to about ten now.

He was, complete and he hated himself forever for this.He layed, down on his bed thinking about things.Everything in his life was so fucked up.So confusing and so out of hand.Nothing mattered, just making the pain stop.He put, the small letter opener away and just cryed.

Everyone, thinks Noah was confident and happy.But they were wrong.They would, be proven wrong if they found out.No one, can know the truth.He put, on his jacket seeing the blood seep through onto his jacket sleeve.

"Shit"Noah muttered

He took, the jacket off and put it under his bed hiding it from his father.Not like, Sam gave a shit about him anyway.He got, up from the bed and staired at his reflection the mirror.He started, to scream at it.

"I HATE YOU NOAH.YOUR A LOOSER.YOUR NOTHING.YOUR PETHIC.YOU SHOULD DIE"Noah yelled at himself

He grabbed, the letter opener and stuck it into his leg screaming an organism of pain.It felt, so good but yet so wrong.He watched, the blood go onto his pant leg as he done this over and over again.Who would find out?No one would ever know.He layed, down on the bed dreaming of nothing.He had, to help his family some how some way.But first "God Helps Those Who helps himself"

He put, on some music to drown out the screaming from his father and Jessica.He needed, a song and a reason to stop hurting.He blasted some "Linkin Park One Step Closer" He needed, room to breathe and in time he would.

He let, out a sigh happy that he had his own secret.It was, his and no one elses.
 
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Noah's thoughts On things   
08:52pm 10/07/2005
 
mood: crappy
Heres some random thoughts.

1:I need to talk to people more

2:I care about Fancy a bit.

3:I'm angry at myself

4:I'm not perfect

5:I'm confused

6:I love my family

7:I need to be nice to myself

8:I have a gambeling problem

9:I'm bored easily

10:I hate being sad
 
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Icon   
07:55pm 08/07/2005
 
mood: energetic
I changed my Icon.What does everyone think?

Noah
 
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Noahs Journal entry 2   
07:46pm 08/07/2005
 
mood: crappy
::Noah opens LJ and starts to type::

I don't know what to say.My famiyl is at war.I love my sisters and would do anything to help them.I guess, you want things to be okay when they can't be.I try and try and nothing.I don't know anymore.I guess my being home is the worst thing ever.Mabye, I should pack my things and leave.No I can't do that.I won't do that to them.

I will, stay and that is that.I want to be a family with my sisters.They need me and well I need them.I am, trying here but with seeing Fancy again things are just gone.I worked, hard to make things right and I will do that.But how can I? *Sigh* I have, to stop Spike some how.Burn his club down mabye that will be the only way.They say, you play with fire you best get burnt.I have, to run now.

Noah

::Clicks the update button.::
 
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Home At The Bennett House Jessica Noah and Kay   
02:53pm 07/07/2005
 
mood: stressed
Noah arrived, at the house with Jessica and put her onto the couch.He looked, at her and sighed.He was, tired of all this and he wanted things to stop.He let, out a sigh and looked at his sister.

"Now it's time to calm down.We are, going to fix this family with or without dads help.I mean it.Kay I'm back with Jessica"Noah yelled

He stood, on the wall and the door was locked so Jessica couldn't or wouldn't leave.He known, this was the best thing.He smiled, to himself knowing family was first and foremost.Nothing, could tear them apart not now not ever.
 
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Noah's Journal Entry one   
07:22pm 04/07/2005
 
mood: confused
::Noah sat, on the bed at the house and started to type into his journal::

I'm back, home and things are worse than I left them.my sisters hate me and well I hate myself for leaving.The one, person to blame is mom for leaving.I hope, she never comes home.Things would, be better if she didn't.

I went, to find Jessica at Spike's club of Drugs and sex.I hate, him and want to make him pay for hurting my sister.I promise you that much.I don't know how yet but I will trust me.I saw, Fancy at the club and well she's still Fancy.I think, I have feelings for her.I wonder.Mabye I do.But if I do thats my choice.
I have things to make up for.
Noah
 
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Noah Arriving Home to Harmony The Bennett Home   
03:59pm 01/07/2005
 
mood: anxious
Noah got, off the plane and walked off looking around. He put, his bag over his arm and sighed. Things were, going to be in fact interesting to come home. He looked, around seeing that the place he left hasn't changed much. He was, happy to be away from Fancy. Though he, formed a bond with her Noah wanted to get away from everything.

He missed, his family greatly and hoped things were the same as he left them. But the, truth is Noah wasn't the same. He changed, as well and coming home to his family would be the one thing Noah had to face.

He finally made, his way to the new house Knocking on the door finally and putting all his fears aside. Nothing mattered, any more just coming home and seeing the family he left behind. Noah thought to himself *. What would they say? What would happen now? Would My father forgive me? Would my father He let, out a sigh and knocked again.




He waited, for someone to get the door. Things would, change from this point on. He only, wanted his family back and nothing but that. He put, his bags down and waited.Noah noticed, that his father wasn't home.So he, waited for Kay and tryed to figure things out.He opened, the door with his key and walked inside.

He sat on the couch dealing with everything.He was, worried about Jessica and Kay.They were, his family and most of all.

"I'm home.So tell me Kay hows everything been since I left.I missed, out on all this time and I would really like to know everything."Noah said

He hated, himself for leaving them when he needed them.He would, make it right this time.


((OOC:I hope you don't mind I started.I thought I would))
 
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